The pain of Rejection…
I was on a regular School visit today and observed that a young lady teacher had become quite slim and as usual my curiosity got the better of me and I wanted to know how she had done it. She later disclosed that her engagement had broken and all the invitations and arrangements for the wedding had to be cancelled.In a heartbroken voice she revealed that the boy had changed his mind at the last minute, she was inconsolable and I could relate to that pain very very closely .
That is the story of many an Indian middle class girl whose parents are desperately on the look out for the “proper Boy” to wed their darling daughter whom they have brought up with all the love and affection and the best they can afford.
The arranged marriages in Indian society have this one formality of “seeing the girl” a formality which every girl hates and resents it from the bottom of her heart. The girl is decked up like a sacrificial goat or something and put on display for inspection. After a certain period she gets to hear the feedback, the snide comments and the eventual rejection. There is always something or the other less in the girl which is a good bargaining point for asking dowry….Oh God when will all this end.
The humiliation and the lowering of self esteem of the girl can only be understood by the one who experiences it all…
Believe me when I say that I underwent this ordeal for five long years at the end of which I was ready to marry any Tom , Dick and Harry, just to see a smile on my parents’ faces.That remains one of the most unpleasant and difficult period in my life and I found solace in a wonderful job , a job which resurrected me as a person and brought out the best in me.
After returning home I narrated the whole incident about the teacher to my daughter and then again my own flashback, she had only one thing to say….”Thank God Mummy for all those rejections, I owe my existance to them…”
I cannot explain the depth of gratitude I felt for the man who had finally selected me to be his life partner.
The other day one of my friends had a whats up status which said,” Don’t feel bad if you are rejected, that’s because people can’t afford expensive things”.
Always believe that the best is yet to happen….